Billy

William Emmett Geder, Jr. 1939 - 1990; my Brother

How far back can trace your lineage?

That’s one of those questions designed to take you as far away from discovering who you are as possible. It takes you out of yourself, out of your family, out of your community, out of your world, and out of your mind.

The service for my brother at Christ Episcopal church was like any other until the new priest, who actually didn’t know him, pointed to a spot in the choir where Billy once stood some forty years prior. It came crashing down all around me that I was somehow in that spot. I was never in the choir, but my soul and my spirit was in that spot. It came crashing down all around me that my spirit was to the left and right of me, where my sisters, Elaine and Sonya, sat in the pew. My mother and father looked upon me from the stained glass windows. I was, at once past and present, in all of the love of my family, my friends, my community, my church, my brother.

I had already started my genealogy journey, but it didn’t prepare me for this moment. No happy dance here. This wasn’t about collecting data, cutting the obit out of the newspaper, reaching for the photo album, or sitting around sharing stories. I don’t remember any of that. As selfish as it seems, it was about what of Billy was in me. What of Billy am I carrying with me to this day and beyond.

I miss my brother, and I love him.
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Peace and Blessings,
"Guided by the Ancestors"
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The Hours They Spend

Mom & Dad 21 years before my birth

Searching for Ancestors.

Family historians are a selfish lot. The time they spend unearthing grains of acknowledgement of who and what they are can be measured in the moments of their genealogy happy dance.

The genealogy happy dance occurs when you find your Ancestor in some dusty document. It also occurs when that document is actually a transcript of an original document. It also occurs when an Ancestor’s name is found in a family tree.

Sometimes this happens early in one’s research. Often, it happens after many years have transpired. But when it happens, it’s as if the stars and planets have lined up, the gods have pointed, and the heavens have revealed a truth.

The minutes away from the search are painful. Somewhere within your Ancestors lies your essence, who you are and what you have become. You are connecting dots to your soul. You don’t want to be away from it.

Fearless is the person who chooses genealogy or family history to learn the truth about themselves. They cannot deny their discoveries. They have Arguments with their ancestors. They challenge the gathered information with their conscience. They search for the moment that brings them together or, ultimately, set them apart.

The hours they spend to get to this defining point is as justified as the time people spend in church seeking salvation or validation. Family historians are searching for the same thing churchgoers are chasing after; validation. Don’t block their blessing.

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Peace and Blessings,
"Guided by the Ancestors"
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Shut up!

Me and Mom; 1951

“Shut up, shut up, shut up...”

Aunt Sayde sat with her right leg over her left, right elbow on top of right knee, right hand holding a filterless Pall Mall cigarette. Her left hand held the glass of vodka or gin, I don’t remember which.

“You used to rock yourself to sleep in your crib; heee!”.

I don’t remember that either. That was nearly sixty years ago. There must have been a lot of noise in the household when I was an infant. Aunt Sayde was trying to tell me something without actually telling me. Elders are good at that game.

That’s the challenge with oral history; deciphering what your elders are trying to tell you or not trying to tell you. Often, those seemingly charming stories are coded with all kinds of messages.

I must have heard and repeated the phrase “Shut Up” from someone. My mother, my father, my siblings, my Aunt Sayde? Was I the center of the argument? Afterall, I came about nearly 12 years after my brother who was the next youngest.

However, before you can tell your family history, you should examine your own story. You are at the center of your story, up close and personal. You are the source and you know your truth. Whether you choose to tell the truth is another matter. However, your truth is what’s going to get you closer to the story of your ancestors. Your truth is the fertile foundation that your family tree needs. Trust in it.

My earliest memory is of a dream of flight.